Improve your assertiveness skills

Goals

• To discover assertiveness and the aspects of assertive behaviour
• Working to the best (possible) outcome for both parties
• To train using assertiveness tools

Target audience

Anyone wishing to be more assertive avoiding the use of harmful behaviours such as aggression, submission, manipulation or abandonment.

Prerequisite

None

Contents

Assertiveness: an overview

• Definition: being assertive (not being the bullied one) with respect for the other (nor the bully)
• Position assertiveness against other behaviour (submission, aggression, manipulation). Link with one’s “position in life” (input from transactional analysis)
• Efficiently reach an Ok+ / Ok+ situation

Characteristics and tools of assertiveness

• Stay calm. Fundamentals of non-violent communication
• Factualise. The differences between fact, judgement, opinion, feeling
• Depersonalise. Do not reduce the other to his behaviour
• Be aware of the emotions in play
• Listen actively
• Look for solutions, put yourself in constructive modus
• Imply the other, make him the actor in the situation
• Use assertive language
• Make sure verbal and non-verbal communication is coherent

Dare to name things

• Use the DESC method to formulate criticism or a wish for improvement
• Express disagreement, refusal